waiting materialistically

There is always a time when you desperately wait for something to change in your life to unlock the illusive paradise behind the corner of your mind, finding your way back to serenity. I waited for one such instance without realizing that even such an imitation would only displace my hopes for finding eternity,not in literal sense eternity, i mean just a feeling which is blissful in all respects. Me waiting desperately for something to change,leads me to be a materialistic being wherein i should’nt have led myself .Was i so careless that i can care for materialistic things and not for my own soul & originality .  There is hardly anyone whom i have’nt seen caught in this vicious cycle. Why do we end up just like how everyone else has ever been, our thoughts always map to someone else’s and so does our illusion of being in this world, that i feel there is hardly anything left within us which we can call ours . Why do we all carry the same illusion as our purpose of being here in this world n eventually believe it. Everything that we ever do is because thats the way everything has ever been. Our goals and thoughts remain so materialistic that we end up just like any other piece waiting to complete the puzzle within ourselves. Being materialistic is’nt bad, its just that in today’s world, thats where our thoughts would always end up. The search for your inner self would never materialize unless you’re never trying to find it. The wait will never be over unless you’re trying to reach there.